DISCLAIMER:
None of the characters belong to me..... etc., etc.

WARNING:
Explicit female/female sex. If you're under age, you know the rules.

Spoilers for the episode 'Crusader'

Send feedback to Lacepriest@aol.com. Comments would be greatly appreciated.

You can find more stories by Lace Priest at her site Lace Priest's Xena Subtext Stories

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Don't Know
By Lace Priest

"Do you know how long it's been?" A quiet voice suddenly called out in the middle of the night.

"Go to sleep, Gabrielle."

A deep sigh. "You're not even willing to talk about this?"

Xena felt a soft hand land on her bare shoulder. "There is nothing to talk about. Now go to sleep." She turned over onto her stomach, effectively removing the touch.

Tears started rolling down the bard's face as she closed her eyes. She knew this was her fault. Gods! "So this is it? It's over between us? You're going to end it just like that?"

"No, Gabrielle, you're the one that ended it just like that. Or are you choosing to forget *that* bit just because you're in the mood for a roll in the hay tonight?" Barely contained fury laced her words.

Gabrielle flew from the ground, becoming entangled in her bedroll in the process, temper flaring. She stomped around to the other side to look at Xena's face. Crouching low, she screamed, no longer able to hold back. "You think I'm horny? That... that I just...."

"Hey, you're the one who started this conversation with 'do you know how long it's been', not me." Xena turned around to look the other way, away from Gabrielle.

"Can't you even have the decency to look at me when I'm talking to you!" cried Gabrielle. She was getting nowhere and it was really infuriating her.

Knowing she was pushing things, she braced herself when she forcibly grabbed Xena's shoulder and turned her around, fully expected to be knocked into next year.

Xena sat up quickly and saw Gabrielle flinch. Every muscle in her body shook from the effort it took to control her instincts to kill.

"Are you suddenly suicidal?" Xena looked at Gabrielle with blazing eyes. Slowly turning her head, she let her forehead rest on an upraised knee, taking deep breaths.

Gabrielle looked at her intently. It had taken her little tryst with Najara to realize that they was no way she could ever leave her warrior. Yes her dark side frightened her, but the prospect of losing Xena's love frightened her even more.

"Xena.... I love...."

"Don't."

She was interrupted in the saddest voice Gabrielle has ever heard from Xena.

"Please stop ....hurting me. I'm completely...defenseless ....when it comes to you." Unable to stop the faltering, stumbling through her pain, the warrior whispered.

Gabrielle felt her whole world shatter at the admission. How could she have been so blind to what she was doing to Xena. The warrior may be quiet and inexpressive, but she was also extremely passionate in everything that mattered to her. *And I matter to her, don't I.*

Gabrielle reached out and moved silky dark hair behind an ear. She gazed at the lobe, briefly remembering the many times she had licked and suckled it 'til Xena had moaned out her name. She didn't want it to be just a memory.

"Please forgive me. I'm sorry it took *this* to end my confusion..."

"Gabrielle, there's nothing to forgive. It's my fault for loving you, my fault for believing you could love me as much as I love you. It's..."

Gabrielle turned Xena's head toward her. "Wait, how can you say that? I do love you! You can trust..."

"Can I!" Xena stood up abruptly and started pacing, blue eyes never leaving green. "Hades, Gabrielle! How many times have you left me. First you decided you had to find out who you were, or something like that... then you decided you wanted Perdicus." The warrior sneered as she spat out his name. "Then there was Thalassa." She smiled coldly as she saw Gabrielle flinch. "I guess you thought I didn't know about that did ya."

Gabrielle looked away. The truth of her actions spoke louder than words.

"And now, I had to put up with watching...literally watching you bond with someone else!" Xena stopped in front of the bard and roughly lifted her up by the shoulders. "Gabrielle, what do you want from me?"

Sparks flew between blue and green, as they stared at one another.

"Everything hurts so much more now that...we are lovers..." Xena closed her eyes and hugged the bard. She sighed as the hug was returned. "I will never stop loving you, but I can't keep letting you treat me like I'm your toy of the month, ready to be dropped when something new and better comes along." The warrior said full of sadness.

"Xena, I... I...don't treat you like that." Gabrielle sobbed in despair, afraid of how true it sounded.

"You may not realize it, but you always leave me, feeling secure that I will always be here waiting for you with open arms. And I have done that each and every time."

Xena pulled back slightly, her heart aching at seeing the tears that flowed freely down her beloved's face.

"I will always love you and I will always be your friend." She paused. Not feeling strong enough to be looking at beautiful green eyes when she said this, she pulled back further to look at the ground. "I can't be your lover anymore."

"Xe..."

"No! I can't keep myself open like that anymore."

Gabrielle was so stunned, she couldn't even think of what to say. Images of their lovemaking pounded her head at an amazing speed. What would she do? Everything around her reminded her of their loving. She stepped away, staggering at the weight of the words.
 

"Gods! Gabrielle, that feels so good!"
Strong large hands pressing her head harder.
 

Gabrielle felt herself stumble, her body acting on it own.
 

"Gabrielle, I'm going to make you scream my name so loud!" A push against
a wall, a knee between her legs, a searing kiss that made thinking impossible.
 

Every new memory was like a physical attack, a blow on the bard's body. She felt like everything was spinning around head, eyes unable to focus on anything.
 

A hot sweltering night, Xena not caring about the heat, hungry in her lust.
Gabrielle relishing the sweat that poured off the warrior's body as she
thrust against her, moaning, her only quest to please her. Animalistic grunts
combined with the steady drops of perspiration drowning all her senses.
 

Gabrielle knew, she could never have Xena any other way. It was all or nothing. Not able to withstand the agony, she fell to the floor. She barely registered the impact. Suddenly all she could do was concentrate on the strong arms that were quickly wrapped around her.

She had to find a way to make this right. She struggled through her haze, letting Xena's soothing voice lead her out of the fog.

"Xena?" She managed to focus on incredible blue eyes as she pulled away. Encouraged by what she saw, she continued. Xena still loved her.

"Will you marry me?" A hesitant whisper.

She saw her warrior's eyes widen and tear immediately. Xena understood the implication of her words. The bard saw a beautiful smile appear and felt a tight, hard hug.

Xena whispered in her ear. "Those are the most beautiful words I've ever heard."

Then the warrior gasped, as she felt soft hands slide underneath, sending shivers from the skin to skin contact. She pulled back, a twinkle in showing in her eyes.

"Oh, I get it. You're just saying that just to get me to sleep with you."

Gabrielle laughed as she moved closer to whisper in an ear. "Is it my fault that you're sooo good in bed?" A pink tongue snaked out, tracing, eliciting a moan. Smiling, she moved towards the other ear, leaving tender kisses in her wake. Another whisper. "Is it my fault you are such a great kisser?" The bard pulled back slightly and placed a heated kiss on soft magnificent lips. "Is it my fault my body craves your talented h...h...ands?" She lost track of her words when those same hands were now wandering across on her bare skin. "Xena..." she moaned helplessly. "Does this mean..." A long moan. "The answer...gods!...is yes?"

So many weeks of being without Xena's touch were causing mind altering intense sensations! Gabrielle felt like her body was going into overload as she felt her warrior slowly lower her to the ground. *No. I could never live without this. I need to feel connected to her mind, body, and soul.*

"Your answer will be my lips kissing every inch of your body."

The blond felt wet lips travel down her neck.

"My tongue tasting all of your sweetness."

The small body shivered as the night air hit her skin as felt Xena licking her way up her body, forcing her head underneath the green material, pushing it out of her way, claiming.

"My hands caressing, fondling, and stroking the softest skin they have ever touched."

Large hands traveled underneath her skirt, grabbing hard onto mounds of delicious flesh, driving home her intentions.

Xena moved lips to an ear and a hand to a very warm and very wet spot, sliding, coating. "And my fingers are going to thrust....." The warrior thrust her body. "Hard." Another hard thrust of her body. "And deep." Another thrust. "Over and over 'til you lose your voice from screaming my name in ecstasy."

Gabrielle was suddenly deliciously filled with skillful fingers. She heard herself screaming, just as Xena had said.

The lovers were soon wrapped around each other, each relishing the feel and scent of the other.

"My answer is yes, love. It would be an honor to spend the rest of my life with you."

The bard sighed deeply and buried head further into Xena. This *was* what life was all about.

The End