DISCLAIMER:
Oh, man, would I like to own Hagar, but I don't. Nor do I own Gabby, Joxer, Xena, the kid or any of those other people who populate this universe. They belong to RenPics and Studios USA, and try as I might, I don't think I can wrestle them away from there. No money will be made from this <sigh>.

WARNING:
This story contains explicit male/female sexual relations. It also contains minor violence.

Archive: GJE, Joxerotica and Ashera. Any others can ask.

Thanks, Findle for going over this one. Sorry I didn't get it posted when I said I would - bad girl. This one just screamed to be written, folks.

You can also find stories by MommaMuse at The GJErotica Archive

Send feedback to mommamuse@yahoo.com

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Married with Fishsticks: The Missing Scene
By MommaMuse

Crustacea slipped into her filmy pink nightie, her mind elsewhere. She knew her husband Hagar was waiting in the big waterbed, probably reading again. Her husband - it amazed her how much more comfortable she became with that thought as each day passed. Especially after tonight, when he had asked her to marry him all over again. It had been so romantic - better than the first time. Or, she frowned with the thought, probably. She wished again she could remember the first time. She looked in the mirror and sighed. There were so many things she couldn't remember yet. But he was so sweet and patient with her. Well, now he was. After they'd ironed a few things out between them. She smiled and lifted her eyebrows. There was one thing she didn't remember, but she did plan to fix that. She'd make this one night neither of them would ever forget.

She reached her hand around the doorway, flipping off the light and waiting to see if Hagar would fight her and turn it back on again, like he had last night. She peered in, and saw him folding up his papers and putting them on the bedside table. The small lamp was still on, which was just enough light for the mood she wanted to establish. She stepped into the room and his eyes met hers. Crustacea's face wore a welcoming and somewhat sensual smile. Hagar looked almost uneasy. "Honeyfins?"

She strolled over to the bed, throwing back the covers and sliding in beside him. "The kids are all asleep," she announced throatily, "and I thought we might, um, celebrate out engagement tonight." She ran a manicured fingernail down the side of his neck and under his robe to his left nipple, teasing it for a moment and watching his face. He gulped.

"B-b-b-ut, the wedding isn't till tomorrow," he stammered.

His wife wore a predatory smile, reminding him of a barracuda he had known in college. "But, really," she reasoned, "We are already married. I mean, we have three kids to prove that we've done this before." Leaning over closer, she stuck her tongue in his ear and swirled it around, ending with a nip to the lobe. Sweat broke out on Hagar's forehead. "Unless you aren't interested?" she whispered, reaching under the covers to check.

What she found told her he was indeed interested, and growing more so by the minute. "Besides," she growled, "You aren't telling me we never did anything before our first wedding night, are you?" She didn't know for sure, but she thought it was a safe bet they had. His widened eyes and rising color told her she had guessed right. "So?" She began to pull at the knot on his robe.

"It's just," he panted a bit as she pushed the robe off his shoulders and ran her tongue down the same path her fingernail had recently traced, "you've never been this aggressive before. Ohhhhh."

She released the nipple she was tugging with her teeth and grinned up at him. "You've probably never been as helpful to me before. What goes around comes around." Her head ducked to the other nipple, and he fell silent except for his moans.

He pulled her up so that her body blanketed his, and kissed her with enough intensity to send shock waves to her toes. When they pulled apart for air, she rested her head on his chest, and heard him mumble, "I really shouldn't be doing this."

Crustacea wiggled her hips, grinding against the bulge in his shorts and asked, "Why not?"

Hagar's sharp intake of breath made her giggle. She was heady with the power she had over him right now. She wriggled again. "No good reason," he managed to gasp out.

She pushed herself upright, straddling his hips as she felt his insistent erection pushing up beneath her, making her breathing a bit ragged, too. "Maybe I'll start sleeping in the nude again," she grinned, pulling the bit of pink fluff over her head and tossing it aside. The ends of her long blonde hair trailed over her breasts, tickling slightly. Hagar reached up and brushed the hair back over her shoulders, teasing the already sensitized nipples with his thumbs. His wife sucked in her breath and arched her back, silently begging for more.

It was an invitation he couldn't refuse. Grasping her shoulders, he pushed her down onto the bed beside him and rolled over, sucking the nearest breast into his mouth and hearing her yelp. Nipping and lapping, he made sure he gave it every bit of attention he could, before moving over to the other side. Crustacea ran her hands thorough his hair and over his shoulders, occasionally urging him on. Finally, he began to move his lips down her body, over the firm abdominal muscles to the top of the tiny pink panties that were her only covering. Growling, he pulled at them with his teeth.

"I did say nude, didn't I?" she teased before reaching down and sliding the panties off, kicking them aside when they reached her feet. Running her hand across the front of his boxers, she announced, "Now you're overdressed." Eagerly, Hagar corrected that inequality. He then returned to the business at hand, kissing his way up from her knees, following the inside of her thighs to the place where he knew he could drive her wild. Using his tongue like a paintbrush, he took large, wide strokes over the entire area, then settled in for the detail work. Crustacea's moans told him she enjoyed his attention to detail.

He felt her tugging gently on his hair, and he lifted his head. "Hagar," she panted, motioning, "here." He crawled over her, covering her body with his, as she tasted herself on his lips with a deep kiss. Her breath was still coming in gasps. "Need," <gasp>, "you." <pant> "Now." She wrapped her legs around his hips and wiggled hers, to make the point.

He paused, looking in her eyes. Not that he had ever had any doubt, but this certainly wasn't his Crustacea. Of course, he had never been as loving and attentive to his real wife, either. But she wasn't as strong and independent as this woman, this woman he planned to make his wife for real tomorrow. He loved her, head over heels, and as soon as she was really, truly his, he planned to stop giving her that infernal potion and allowing her to become completely, totally herself. He just knew she would stay - he loved her too much, and he was sure she felt the same about him. The hell with the council - it no longer mattered to him if he became president or not.

Meanwhile, the woman beneath him was growing impatient with his lack of action. Wrapping her legs even tighter, she ground her hips against him as she alternately nipped and sucked at his neck. Sweet Mother of Pearl! Hagar gasped mentally, Where did she learn THAT? This had gone past the point where he could have stopped it, even if he wanted to, which he most admittedly did not right now. And even if he thought he could, he wasn't sure she would be willing. Tossing aside all attempts at contemplation, he gave Crustacea what she wanted.

She moaned as he entered her, and he lay still for a few moments to allow them both to catch their breath. Then they began to move together, slowly at first, savoring every moment of contact. They shared passionate kisses, and Crustacea's hands ran across his back, finally reaching for his hips to speed the pace. Her gasps grew louder. "Ahh, ahh, oooooooh!" She threw her head back on the pillow, eyes tightly shut, and at the moment of completion, cried out, "JOXER!"

Hagar's blood was pounding in his ears as she called out. Her body pulled his body along, and he reached his climax, moaning wordlessly and collapsing atop her. They rested in the afterglow, and when he finally opened his eyes to look at her, she was smiling serenely. He smiled happily back, and asked, "What were you saying as you came?" His focus had been elsewhere, after all.

She cuddled onto his shoulder. "Your name, of course." He had thought as much, but he just wasn't sure. He kissed the top of her head, and she giggled.

He looked down at her. "What?"

She licked his chest and watched him squirm. "We just got an early start on the honeymoon." They drifted into a satiated sleep.

Gabrielle came to on the dock and saw Joxer bent over her. Her mind was filled with images of love and passion, all featuring his face. She pulled him to her and kissed him for all she was worth. Love, passion, Joxer. Joxer? No, Hagar. Oh, gods, I called Hagar JOXER. In bed! Does that mean I? NO.

He pulled away to catch his breath. "What do you think you're doing?" she demanded, her brain still reeling from the implications.

His answer sent her beyond what her already befuddled mind could handle. "Apparently, just what you've always want . . ." Before he could finish saying what she knew in her heart to be true, but she couldn't deal with hearing just then, she had landed a solid right to his jaw. She was going to need time to sort this out. She couldn't have him stating the obvious in front of the whole world here and now.

She shuddered, her mind and senses all on overload. Xena looked at her oddly. "Gabrielle, is there something you want to tell me?"

She waved off the question, and turned her attention to Eve, who was now crying. She'd deal with all the rest later.

The End